1. Send back the silver salt-cellar and pepper-pot to King's College. I am not going to give indiscreet details about how they came into my possession; suffice it to say that they shouldn't have. And I have held on to them for long enough (i.e. more years than I care to remember).
They will be going in an anonymous, unlabelled parcel, of course. My instinct for righting wrongs is not infinite.
2. Get my M.A. As this consists entirely of writing a letter asking aforesaid King's College to graduate me in absentia, it's rather embarrassing that I haven't done it yet. But sometime in 2012 I will be B. R. Collins, M.A. (Cantab). Promise.
3. Do something at least once a week that I haven't done before.
4. Fall in love with someone single, available, fairly well-adjusted, fairly solvent and living within ten miles of Tunbridge Wells. (Which is where I live, rather than just some arbitrarily picked area.) How hard can it be?
Oh, and resist the temptation to blog about my love-life...
5. Edit Edward Leigh. Finish The School of Glass. Think up an idea for my next book for Bloomsbury and write that too.*
6. Keep writing. Stop giving myself a hard time about getting a proper job. If I decide I really need a proper job, just get one.
7. Have more sex. As before: how hard can it be?**
(Note to self: lower standards if necessary. Possibly also applicable to Resolution 4.***)
8. Answer all queries about laundry, washing up, tidying up, emptying the dishwasher, cooking etc. with, 'Sorry, I made a New Year's Resolution not to do that any more.'
9. Live adventurously.
10. Stop getting really, really angry about politics. Do whatever I can, and then swallow unnecessary fury and try to achieve serenity. (Ha!)
Also, hold people in the light more. Try to see the good in everyone, even wankers, arses, idiots and total shits... (Yes, well. Possibly this one might need some work.)
11. Stop overusing brackets, italics, smiley faces, asterisks and... ellipses.
12. Stop buying lottery tickets. Except metaphorical ones. Buy more metaphorical lottery tickets.
* If I put these all in one terse, unchatty resolution I'm hoping they'll seem like less work.
*** This is a joke. Probably. :)